The Lost Halo Syndicate

Ok, try this challenge.  Imagine a funky drum beat, circa 1971.  Toss in the horns.  And the bass, got have that funky bass.  Now pick seven to ten random words and write them down, call that column A.  Now add the words “baby”, “get back” and “WOOOO” and call that column B.  Now put that funky early 70’s music back your melon head and then pick any 3 words from column A and any word from column B. 

James Brown would have had a hit single of that song! 

“Orange toothpicks drool, GET BACK!”  One million sold

“Asian Nightstand Impediment, WOOOOO!”  Can’t count how many times that got played on the radio.

“Shoebox Kite Chewer, baby”  HUGE hit in Germany

There are no combinations of words in the English language that James Brown could sing and it not become pure gold.  Half the songs he is famous for don’t even have verses.  It’s a chorus that he sings over and over to the funkiest of funky tunes.  And people bought that shit hook, line, and crack rock.

 I grew up in James Brown’s hometown, in case you are curious about my qualifications to bash (bash…ha ha.. .he was a wife beater) on the old man.  There you go.  Now I live in the home town of Kenny Loggins, so suck on that Hall and Oates (I miss you Koko)! 

Fucking Kenny Loggins.  Now that guy rode a wave of shit right to the top.  That really shitty pop rock from the 80’s that is just a blight on all of music.  I’m shocked James Brown didn’t hang himself David Carradine style in 1984 after Loggins dropped a WWE worthy flying elbow on the scrotum of music with Footloose.  Everything after the Doobie Brothers should be used an example of what music must never again become.